How Does Your Heart Feel? | A Reframing of Valentine's Day
In this episode, I'll discuss the importance of checking in with your heart and how you feel, checking in with your friends, and showing love for yourself and those around you. I'll also explore being the victim of comparison and how to avoid it. Join me as I explore the true meaning of Valentine's Day and how to make it a special day for everyone.
Resources:
o After the Rain-Alex Elle https://a.co/d/2yjFONW
o Healing Through Words-Rupi Kaur https://a.co/d/aq6xqSb
o The Body Keeps the Score-Bessel van der Kolk M.D. https://a.co/d/aJKKzww
Connect with me:
Website: HeySoulSista.org
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCmzmKUrN8XmgJyyr4wPIVUw
Follow on IG: @SoulSistaBotanica
Follow on TikTok: @SoulSistaBotanica @IamAjahLee
Episode 5 Transcript
Speaker 1 00:00:03 Hey y'all. Welcome to Mindfully Yours. I'm your host Ajah, and on this show we talk about all things mindfulness, wellness, loving ourselves, and the journey to showing up authentically as who we are in this crazy world. This podcast is a safe space where we can vibe and chill and chat for a minute about real stuff to help you heal, grow, and evolve into the person you are meant to be in this life. Thank you for being here and I hope y'all can feel all the love and hugs. I am sending you away. Welcome to mindfully yours. Let's go ahead and get into it.
Speaker 1 00:00:49 Welcome back to episode five of Mindfully yours. I'm so happy you're here. And today we're talking all about love because it is the day of love. But isn't love such a crazy, beautiful thing? It can make us feel a mixture of emotions. We can be on like a temporary high floating like we're in the clouds like, but it can also bring us real low in a deep, dark place. So you can imagine that on, on a day like today that there's a mixture of emotions going around. Some people may say, I feel really good about today. I love me, I love my partner, I love my life. Other people may be feeling a sense of loss for what they once thought they could have had, what they no longer have or for the life they thought they would have. At this point, there is that underlying feeling of comparison. When we look at someone else's life and we look at ours and on the other side it looks great and sometimes we get to the point where we look at ours and wonder why it couldn't look as great as what it looks like over there.
Speaker 1 00:02:20 Or sometimes on a day like today, we're grieving the loss of someone so close and near to us. So I ask you to check in with yourself. Is your heart okay today? Are you feeling emotionally well mentally well, financially well? So you see today to me, there is a bigger picture here that we don't quite look at. And let me be the first to say that I honor whatever feeling that you have today, and I validate you for whatever you feel today. Your feelings are valid in this space. I hold space for you and whatever you may feel when those holidays come around, there's so many things that can be going on in our head and social media. There's a lot in our face quite often.
Speaker 1 00:03:30 And when we think of a day like today, our immediate thought is obviously love, but what does that truly mean? What does love look like for you? Forget about what everybody else's view of love looks like. What does it look like and feel like to you? How do you show up for you? How do you show yourself love? Because that's important what everybody else is doing and however they feel about how you love you and how you show up for you is none of your business. What makes you feel good on a day filled with roses and chocolates and teddy bears? Do you of them want any of that or do you just wanna show up for yourself in the way that you see fit and showing up for yourself on a day like today? It could be waking up, having your coffee, heading into work, looking yourself in the mirror and saying your affirmations.
Speaker 1 00:04:46 It could be getting yourself that lunch that you enjoy owe so much. It could be coming home from a long day cuddling up in your bed or on your couch and watching your favorite Netflix show. Hey, it could even be paying your bills because let me tell you, being able to pay your bills is not something that everyone can do. And that could be how you show you that you care for you and how you show up for yourself. So no matter what you do today and how you show up for yourself today, don't fall in the trap of comparing what you're going through right now to anybody else. Because what you do and how you do it is beautiful. It's unique to you. It doesn't have to look like so-and-so next door or that girl on social media. It doesn't have to be the flowers, the roses, the candies. It could be you taking a chance on you today and saying, I'm doing something that I told myself I would always do and I let fear get in the way, but today I'm doing something different. When we fall in that trap of being a victim of comparison, we forget how beautiful and how amazing the things that we do ours do for ourself are.
Speaker 1 00:06:48 We forget how often that we, we fill ourselves up and we pour into ourselves on every day, not just one day. We forget those little moments that we show up for ourselves because we see it in a different light on social media and on the internet. Don't discredit the work that you've been doing to love on you all year long. You've been showing up for yourself, you've been doing what you feel is right for you and what makes you feel good. If you're grieving, allow yourself to feel the emotions and move through the different stages of grief. We truly never know what someone is going through next to us. We don't know what our coworkers are going through. We just know surface levels. Sometimes we don't know what the lady at the grocery store is going through today. So I encourage you to move gently through this space, not just today, but every day cuz we don't know what someone else is going through. And as you show up for yourself, how do you pour into the ones that you love around you? And as you pour into yourself, check in with your emotional wellbeing, your mental wellbeing and your financial wellbeing.
Speaker 1 00:08:31 Mentally look at how you have been the past couple days, not just today. Look at where your mental head space is. Are you okay?
Speaker 1 00:08:46 Look at your financial space. Are you financially okay? What ways can make you feel okay? What ways can make you feel emotionally connected, mentally connected, financially connected? What are your goals and aspirations? I encourage you to think bigger than just what a day is. A day like today is. I want you to check in on you first and then check on everyone around you. When was the last time you sent a friend? Are you okay? Text, we've heard the term check on your strong friends, but have you been checking on yourself as well as your friends? And I really mean getting into the nitty gritty of the conversations that you're having. Ask them if their heart is okay, maybe they're feeling lonely today. How can you show up for you and those that you love? Maybe it looks like a Valentine's Day event. And let me just say, I'm still looking for my tribe.
Speaker 1 00:10:05 I'm looking for my girls. And I hope that for myself, I can have a Valentine's Day event next year. But if for you and your tribe, it looks like going out to a nice dinner or even just staying in your house watching a show, a movie popping some popcorn and your fuzzy toed socks, love can look like more than just being with somebody else in a relationship. Have you ever thought that love can look like your friends, loving you, loving your space, loving your life? Sometimes we get mixed up in the thought of Valentine's Day should look like I have somebody.
Speaker 1 00:11:02 But do you have yourself? What do you have to be grateful for right now in this moment, I'm gonna keep reminding y'all, don't be the victim of comparison. Don't fall into that trap. Take an inventory of your life and how many great things you have in it and how much love you have in it. There's so much love surrounding you. And if that's a hard space to be in, I always tell y'all I'm with you and I always send the highest amount of love and joy to y'all. I'll never invalidate how you feel because how you feel is real and those are your emotions and you're entitled to feel exactly how you wanna feel in any moment in time. But I'm gonna push you to really think about where those feelings are coming from, why those feelings are coming up, and how you can maneuver this space where you and your feelings are one. But you don't have to always sit in those heavier emotions. I'll be the first one to say I haven't always been a fan of Valentine's Day. It's, it's always been something where I became stuck in being the victim of comparison.
Speaker 1 00:12:40 And I'll be honest, I don't really celebrate it because what I always say and what me and my wife always say is, we love each other every day of the year. Why do we need one day to express it so aggressively? It goes far beyond this 24 hours given to us in one day. The love we have for each other exceeds one day. I don't need a day to show you how much I feel for you. I don't need a day to show me how strongly I feel for me. Cuz if I wanna do something for me, oh, best believe I'm gonna do it. I can do it any day. I feel as I've gone through my journey of healing and uncovering my traumas and learning how to cope with them, I've learned that Valentine's Day is a day just like any other, but it also is a reminder to some. And there's that mirror that gets put up and that mirror can hurt or that mirror can bring joy. And this is a space where you can feel either way. But I encourage you to look in that mirror and go deep. Take deep take time to connect with you and the love that you have for you.
Speaker 1 00:14:15 Affirm yourself and say these affirmations with me. I am worthy of love today and every day.
Speaker 1 00:14:30 I don't need a relationship to complete me. I deserve to show myself the same compassion and grace I show others. Say those as many times as you need throughout this week, throughout your day. Whenever you feel called to, I encourage you to write them down and put them on sticky notes so you can place them on your mirror or even in your car. So you're always reminded of these affirmations. My favorite place I used to keep mine were in my car in a space where I would always look cuz it reminded me to pour into myself and speak kindly to myself and affirm myself. I send you all so much love and so much joy, and I hope you feel seen and heard and loved. That's our show for this week. Thank you for listening to Mindful Leos. You can find all the resources and links from this episode in the show notes. And if you enjoy this episode, which I know that you did drop a rating and review. Let the people know how much you enjoyed it. And then go ahead and follow us on Instagram at Soul Sista Botanica. We'll see y'all next time.
